I’ll Be by Your Side
Author: Kisonpizu (Kizu)
Rating: 17 + (not hot, but given the gene should be)
Gene: Sad, angst, rape (hint).
This is completely opposite to I’ll always love you (I will try, but not sure whether I can write something sad or not).
Summary: Do you know that I will be always with you? But when will be the time you realize that …
Disclaimer: Au owns no one.
Length: one shot only, but see it written, is extremely short . .
Warning: No bashing JYJ, but because of the story line, the characters or au myself can be misunderstood as accusing a certain someone. Read the warning carefully, or else reading and getting disappointed then bashing me will make me very sad. I don’t deserve it u know!
Fic was written by a crazy fan of Yunho, who always put him at the top priority, the focus of attention, ho ho (so he always suffer the most! Ak ak).
Fic is written from the perspective of Min but completely not reflects the reality.
I still remember the impression when I first met you, when the manager introduced team members. Immediately I thought that the bulged cheek, cute teeth, slanted eyes with hair looked like a rambutan, whether you were older than me or not. Even as a leader to burst! So I thought you just wanted to play around…
No wonder you looked like a cheeky cat!
Yet why am I here, diving in the ocean of pictures taken by professional cameraman for our album without any satisfaction, eventually I have to open up the network, temporarily select a fan cam.
A picture of that cat for my own possession.
I like Jae hyung very much, especially the food he cooks … but I hate the gentle beauty of him which makes the company come up with a crazy ideal of fan service by introducing YunJea couple… in fact which part of him is weak? He is just slightly… silly and loves taking care of other people, that’s all…
I really like playing with SuSu, although most of the time there is more fight than peace … but I hate the way he extorts his cuteness to ask you for everything, while you are a total idiotic bear who nods his head all the times…
I really love Chun hyung because he is very sensitive and easy to bully … but I hate the type of man who is too charming to be true like him, because whenever he shows his charms, fans will go so crazy that they immediately produce an extremely romantic fic of 2U. Truth to be told, every time I see it, I just want to drill a hole in the middle of the computer’s screen…
I also once enjoyed my position in the group, the youngest maknae who was always pampered by hyungs. Thank for Choikang cute image, I could freely do whatever crazy games I wanted. Because only if I did that then you noticed the existence of mine …
I used to love Kimin role ascription, because you would be a dictatorial father who always did everything to hold me back … but please do not mention it again. It is the reason why I am always just the little boy in your eyes …
With the nature that is allergic to being touched, I used to hate standing in the middle of the group when shooting, but now I always silently thank the manager, as this way I am the only one who can touch you…
I used to hate my height. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I have to pay attention all the times or else it is very easy for me to bump my own forehead… but now thank for this gift of nature, I can be a shoulder for you to lean on…
I used to hate those who are not true to his heart, always pretend to be strong against all difficulties… to lead all of us to the gate of glory…
But I’m happy to be the only one who witnessed the moment the ice cover broke into pieces, you fell into the middle of the upmost horrible nightmare… I will be the one…
Always at your side.
– Jaejoong, Junsu, Yoochun ah … please don’t do it … okay?
You said, with trembling voice, every word jammed together in your throat. Surprise and pain were written all over your face.
Don’t do that! Don’t let anyone see the weakened and soft side in you.
– Yunho ah … I cannot stand the scene of you being tortured for the team anymore, we just propose a more reasonable schedule. We cannot be a money machine for SM forever.
You were too stunned to say a word, when suddenly realized that in others’ eyes, you were the cause of everything.
Blaming was always an easy thing to do.
– You guys go for real? We agreed … to negotiate with the company to accept the proposal, didn’t we?
– How can you still innocently believe in their words? They will never accept anything detrimental to themselves! You want to stay? How about you Changmin, what do you want to do?
You told me what should I do?
If all I wanted was to be by your side?
In the blink of eye, I quickly leaned up to catch you when the door coldly slammed shut because just one second late, you would be deeply in pain if fell onto the rough hard floor.
Your eyes were dark and fatigue as ever. Your cracked dry lips were so pale.
Cry for now if the pain could be eased by tears.
Because no matter what happens, I will stay with you …
– Su ah … How’s everything? … Three of you ok? … Uh … I and Min ..
– YUNHO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? NO CONTACT WITH THEM, AT ALL!
From afar, I saw you were startled when the manager roared loudly then jumped in to snatch the phone away… and as always, swinged his arm to hit the back of your head… while you were still not out of surprise …
I wanted to chop down that arm!
Because it dared to hurt you …
– What? Continue to work … why? But … but … How can DBSK be DBSK ever again with only two of us?
– This is the decision of the Board of Directors, we must show them that without them, DBSK still exists!
– NO!!! How can a family be full without enough members?
Your screams filled with helplessness … when all efforts to negotiate or delay for so long went down the drain. Two hands violently tugged your shaking shoulders, pulled you back to face the cruel monster named reality.
I wanted to chop down that arm!
Because it dared to touch you …
– Yunho! How many times do I have to remind you? This is not the style I want for WHY. What’s the hell with that dull and gloomy face? What’s wrong with you today?
– I’m… I’m sorry… but the lyrics … I’m sorry! Please let me try it again!
You were hurt… when to speak out loud the word WHY from your mouth with a blaming attitude, weren’t you? You also wanted to ask … but not this way, right? But Yunho ah, no matter how many times you ask, again and again, the fact remains to be the best answer … Why do you have to hold onto the past like that? Why not turn to look back once?
To see there was me by your side…
– We want to thank Cassies for always being there to encourage, motivate and believe in DBSK!
Cheerful applause filled response, in the scene of flying colourful pieces of paper.
The Return of the King was greeted warmly. You were still perfect as a leader-shi as ever. It was worth the months of hard work up to the point of losing your voice and injury covering your body. It was worth the months our fans had waited for our return. However …
Who would see your fingers turning white from the firm grip around the award… Who would see the smile never touch your sorrowful eyes…
Where has it gone? The cheerful smile of yours when all five of us were still together.
– Yunho, you and Changmin should not get near strangers, it’s dangerous. By the way we have to reach the studio soon, we’re late.
– But they’re Cassies, I think they just want to take an autograph and a picture. Don’t worry hyung, just a minute or two …
Flashing your best smile, you tried to convince the bodyguard when two girls knocked on the car’s window, holding a DVD of our new album. Perhaps for you Cassies were even more important than an award or a rank, weren’t they? Anyway they were so like you, still hoping that one day the family really would come back …
– Why do you dare to use the name DBSK? Because of you that JYJ is miserable!
All I could see was a view of dully white, obscured your sight when the bag of powder was thrown straight in my face.
I just wanted to rush to your side, to hold your body tightly which was kneeing down on the cold ground. Why did they not know that such harsh words were sharp as a blade pierced to your already bleeding heart? Why did they not know that they had accidentally broken your little hope, eventually?
I just want to wipe everything out of your mind and keep you in the glass forever, so you do not have to endure the endless suffering and torment like this.
Your hair dyed in the colour of blood, red ran down the side of your stunning face with dully darkened eyes.
No sign of light.
You looked up at me.
But in your eyes, you did not see me…
– Changmin, Yunho has not been very well recently, plus the anti-fan incidence again, Keep your eyes on him okay? I take my leave.
– Sure, see you later.
I was so surprised at myself that I could utter such obedient and polite words, just a moment ago, I really wanted to slam the door shut in front of him… so that I could come back to your side.
No more a Yunho, who once was powerful, arrogant and always kept his head high against any challenge.
No more a Yunho, who once was fun, dynamic, the center of attention.
Now only a soulless puppet, withdrawning itself to gnaw the pain, remained.
Where has your smile gone?
– If you regret … and need somebody to blame …
Your voice was trembled, tragic as the broken wings.
– Then blame me … Min ah …
Why should I? Since whatever I did was my own decision?
– Just because hyung is … stubborn and stupid … … because I try to hold on … the past … over …
Why do you say so? We were heading to a bright future full of success, weren’t we?
– It’s the end … everything ends … I have nothing now…
Why? Did not you still have me by your side?
How could I make you see me?
Your eyes dazzled in panic, tightly pursed lips were trembling.
I felt pain …
Not the pain from the blood streamed out of the bite, I felt the throbbing pain deep in my heart at the sight of your hurtful eyes.
The first time you saw me.
There was no love but confusion remained.
When would you realize how many years had gone by?
I am longer a spoiled child I once used to be.
I had to make you see the existence of mine, whatever it took.
I had to make you forever mine… Mine alone.
By all means.
U-know of the past should die.
So you could simply go back to my Yunho.
My whole body was strangled by the boiling blood with upmost anger, since no matter how gentle I was, you kept running away because of fear.
Why did you have to run when all I wanted was to bring you happiness? The happiness you always yearned for? Why do you deny it by shaking your head?
What you wanted was a happy family of five together.
What I wanted was to keep you for myself after 7 years playing the role of a shadow.
So Yunho ah, let me once be selfish, to carve my name in your heart with my own hands.
What made you so surprised? Impossible to escape from my embrace? You never noticed that prolonged hours of hard work had actually drained all of your strength… You never noticed that after 7 years, I had grown up to be a fine true man. And I did not want to be hiding in the dark forever. Therefore…
No matter how confused you were, trying to hide your fear under the angry mask or clumsy threatened words…
No matter how painful you felt and you begged in tears …
I would never stop.
Because never once I wanted to lose you …
Because you were too stubborn to admit the existence of mine.
I would leave plenty of traces on your unstoppably trembling body.
Because your heart was too obstinate to open and accept the feelings of my heart.
I did not mind crushing all barriers to force this desire on you.
By all the hurt your soul might have, by all the pain your body might bear…
By the everlasting love I have for you.
Although this brutal nightmare might make you hate me forever.
Tomorrow comes I will still be by your side …